


The Broken Pieces

by alec



Category: Brave (2012), How to Train Your Dragon (2010), Rise of the Guardians (2012), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Depression, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Modern Era, Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, also jack isn't the bad guy, mention of rape, there's mention of rapunzel/eugene but it's not enough to tag it as a relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 13:30:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1133219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alec/pseuds/alec
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There wasn’t anything that she could say, because the truth, the “it wasn’t all your fault, he manipulated you, he abused you” wasn’t something Hiccup was ready to hear yet. So she said nothing, but stroked his hair, and that was the best that she could do. That was enough for Hiccup to fall asleep to, aided along by the actual hiccups that had come with the tears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Broken Pieces

Hiccup was sobbing, and he didn’t care. It hurt. Everything hurt. And he was going to hurt the next day, and the day after. Simple pain, Hiccup could stand; but this was pain that was permanent, something that was going to last, something that he couldn’t heal.

His cheek itched, the tears having soaked into the pillowcase and now rubbing against his skin uncomfortably, but he couldn’t—he wouldn’t—move the pillow. No one was here, he was all alone, and he was in such pain, that he deserved pity, he deserved attention, and this was one more thing for him to feel sorry about, to feel the victim of. And at this point, that was all that he had left.

He had left Hiccup. It was over. Hiccup was alone, left to stew in the words that he had told him, to break up with him.

“Don’t tell me you love me—I don’t want to hear it.” 

“I’m embarrassed by you, I’m embarrassed for you, I’m embarrassed to even be seen with you.” 

“You’ve caused every single problem I’ve had since I came to college, and then you’ve only made them worse.” 

“Every time we had sex, I was disgusted by you, by the very thought of you.” 

The words cut so deep, Hiccup could feel a cool, ghostly wound dig across his chest, and what felt like a claw gripping his insides, pulling out his gut. The pain was atrocious, but it only hurt what he felt was left of his soul.

This was all just a dream. He would wake up, and then he could text Anthony, tell him all about it, and Anthony would run down to Hiccup’s dorm and hug him tight, and tell him it was all going to be alright. That it _had_ been all a dream. The dream would linger for a few hours, but then it would dissipate, and then soon enough it would all be over and gone and they could go out for dinner that night, and make love, and then perhaps Anthony wouldn’t leave afterwards. But the tearstained pillow was enough proof that this was the real world, that this was—had—happened, and that there wasn’t going to be an Anthony tomorrow, or the day after, or after that.

There was a faint knock on the door, followed by Merida’s voice, uncommonly soft. He hadn’t wanted to—Hiccup had wanted to wallow in his pain alone, to not have to face anyone and live up to his failure—but he knew that he couldn’t handle this alone. This was too much for him to get over, and he needed someone. And all he had was Merida, the one friend he had known and gone with to college. Now, Merida was the only friend that Hiccup had, and not by exaggeration. The two were states away from everyone they had graduated with; but moreover, Hiccup had only made friends with Anthony’s friends, with Anthony’s floor mates, with Anthony’s clubs. They were both freshmen, and had only been on campus for a month, and now that Hiccup was… now that Hiccup wasn’t… now that Hiccup wasn’t with Anthony, there wasn’t anyone left but Merida that he could even turn to.

He opened the door, shuffling in the dark, and let her into the small dorm room. Hiccup’s roommate was out for the night at a party, which was just as fine. Hiccup couldn’t look Merida in the face, didn’t want to have to, and he shuffled back and crawled into bed and regretted ever having texted her because he can’t do this, he can’t make it real. But she sat down on the edge of the bed, her short legs hanging over the edge, and she knew. She kept the silence. Hiccup knew she was pretending she couldn’t hear him crying, and he was grateful for that, and for her.

* * *

That night, Hiccup told her everything. How he had found Anthony, how they had talked throughout the summer, how they had become close — too close, way too fast, even if Hiccup had wanted it. How they had counted down the days, then the hours, until they would meet up on campus for freshmen orientation. How Hiccup had gotten out of his car and recognized Anthony walking down the street and froze up because this was so new territory, and what did he say. How they had hung out all day, and when the night fell, they had climbed the staircase to the tallest building on campus and looked out over the city and stared and how Hiccup had been shaking with nerves as he put his hand over Anthony’s. And then how Anthony had smiled and hugged him and _held his hand_. Like he wasn’t ashamed of him.

And he told her how he had been pressured to have sex for the very first time, terrified and trembling and not wanting to do it, but recognizing that if he didn’t, Anthony was going to leave him; how he visibly shook and needed to vomit as he waited for Anthony outside his classroom to tell him he had changed his mind, how he was fine with it. He told her how Anthony told him he was going to rape Hiccup, just because he knew it would get under his skin and hurt him. How Hiccup wasn’t allowed to say no, to say stop, to say something hurt, without the judging, smoldering stare.

How Anthony told Hiccup that he was worth it, that he loved him. How his eyes seemed to say that, but then how they would turn cold and analytical. How Hiccup would feel inadequate, would feel like he wasn’t able to compete, how he couldn’t compete. How they fought often, but it was always Hiccup’s fault, and only Hiccup needed to apologize.

How in spite of all of what he had just told her, it was all Hiccup’s fault. How he had caused this. How this was his own failure. How Anthony’s arms felt like home, and how he wanted to vomit (and very nearly did) at the thought that right now, Anthony was at a frat party, dancing with someone else.

There wasn’t anything that she could say, because the truth, the “it wasn’t all your fault, he manipulated you, he abused you” wasn’t something Hiccup was ready to hear yet. So she said nothing, but stroked his hair, and that was the best that she could do. That was enough for Hiccup to fall asleep to, aided along by the actual hiccups that had come with the tears.

Merida let herself out quietly that night.

* * *

Time didn’t make it easier for Hiccup. He still had to see Anthony in classes, around campus, and the feeling of loss didn’t go away. In the semesters that followed the breakup with Anthony, it didn’t go well. Hiccup made a few friends on his own floor, and joined a small student organization that did charity work around the campus. It was through this organization that he met Rapunzel, this talkative blonde haired girl who all the same meshed well with the quiet and shy persona that Hiccup had fallen into. Rapunzel and Merida struck up a very fast and strong friendship, and soon the trio was spending more and more time together.

One night when Hiccup was studying for a test, Merida explained the story to Rapunzel. It concerned Merida deeply, that over a semester later Hiccup hadn’t recovered, that he seemed to be pulling more and more into himself. Rapunzel did her best to never let Hiccup find out that she knew what had happened.

* * *

It was the fall semester of Hiccup’s sophomore year. Hiccup wasn’t really sure how he had managed to survive the summer. Most of the prolonged break was his dismal job working with his father at the family business, and beyond that, a lot of time cooped up in his dark room watching television. Hiccup felt bad because he knew that his father worried about him, but he simply couldn’t find the energy to be able to fake his happiness, because even that lie was exhausting.

The new semester brought a twinge of excitement for Hiccup. It meant he got to see Rapunzel again, who lived a sizeable distance away from Hiccup and Merida. It also meant that Hiccup had his freedom again, without the supervision and rules of his father. And it meant change, even if it wouldn’t be novel for very long; something to perhaps lighten his life, because it felt like it was stiflingly and insufferably dark.

But Hiccup lost interest quickly in the classes. Monday passed into Tuesday which passed into Wednesday, a blur of activity and dissatisfaction. Thursday’s classes proved no better, but at the very least, Hiccup had the evening to look forward to, with the volunteer organization holding their first semester meeting that night.

The meeting itself wasn’t riveting. It was the standard introduction presentation, geared at hooking the incoming freshmen to an organization that most of them would never have expected to want to join. Though Hiccup hadn’t been to the introductory meeting the previous year, much of the information that was presented were things that he had managed to pick up throughout the course of the previous year. As such, he sat with Merida and Rapunzel, who were both overjoyed to be back together. And Hiccup tried to fake his happiness; he _was_ excited to see both of them. Very excited, in fact. But everything in his life felt dampened, and he himself an imposter. He didn’t want to hurt either of the girls’ feelings, but as the meeting progressed, he felt increasingly like a stranger, and just wanted to leave.

When the meeting was finally over, Hiccup gave the girls his most sincere smile he could force before parting ways almost abruptly. All he wanted was the darkness of his dorm room, and more television, or the internet, or something to distract him from what had become his waking life over the past year.

Hiccup wasn’t paying attention to the security guard as he passed through the entrance to his dorm, and was only vaguely aware of the elevator trip up to the seventh floor. He was looking ahead but wasn’t really seeing what was going on in front of his eyes. In his daze, Hiccup walked towards his door, until the sudden egress of another student from the bathrooms caused Hiccup to rein back control of his body, in order to dodge out of the way.

”’orry,” mumbled the offending boy to Hiccup. Hiccup’s mind was clouded, but as he turned his head to look at the boy, he felt the first rays of clarity he had felt in months. Before him stood a boy with snowy-white hair, slightly taller than Hiccup himself, with a purple toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. He was clad only in pajama bottoms, but Hiccup found he couldn’t pull himself away from the boy’s face. There was something soothing in the angles of the other boy’s jaw, something relaxing in the ears that poked out from the impossibly pale hair, something almost therapeutic in the small nose in the center of his face. For the first time in over a year, Hiccup felt the darkness that had taken hold completely dissipate, and he felt _human_ , something that until this point he had assumed he wasn’t going to feel again.

But the moment elapsed and the white-haired boy went to return to his room. Hiccup felt selfish and just a little bit crazy, but he couldn’t let the other boy just walk away.

“Oh, hey, sorry. I almost walked into you, that was my fault,” Hiccup said, which he felt was the longest continuous statement he had made in perhaps a month.

“No worries,” the other boy said, and continued down the hall and into his bedroom.

The same crushing blow came back to Hiccup that he would use every so often to torment himself, just to feel alive. Feeling utterly dejected, Hiccup allowed his shoulders to slump as he turned and walked down the hall.

He reached his own door, pulling out his student ID in no real hurry, resting his head against the door as he worked. He punched in his four digit PIN, managing to get it wrong the first time. After that, Hiccup stood there for a moment, feeling like this door represented his current situation in life.

Behind him, Hiccup heard a spitting noise, followed by the rinse of the water fountain, then motion back down the hall. Hiccup raised his arm again to open the door.

“Hey bud, are you alright? Something looks like it’s eating you alive.” 

Hiccup spun around to see the still shirtless form of the white-haired boy standing close behind him. The kid could move silently, sneaking up on Hiccup like that. But Hiccup wasn’t paying much attention to that fact; inside, all he felt was confusion at the turn of events, and wariness of hope.

“Oh, I’m, yeah, I suppose,” Hiccup found himself lying while looking away, and regretted every word thereafter.

“Alright, you don’t have to talk to me. No worries. Just, talk to someone, please?” said the boy before turning around, and Hiccup thought he could almost detect a hint of sadness from him. The boy walked down the hallway and into his room, and the door closed behind him, the noise echoing longer in Hiccup’s ears than it did in the hallway.

Hiccup stood there staring blankly forward, before fumbling with his ID and opening the door. He stepped into his dark room, removing his coat and shoes, before sitting on his bed, a sense of indecision all about him. Nothing that Hiccup thought of doing felt right.

Four minutes later, Hiccup knocked on the door to 705, which was answered by a shirtless white-haired boy.

“I’m not alright. And I need someone to talk to.” 

* * *

Hiccup was ushered into the white-haired boy’s dorm room. The entire place was aglow, with strands of holiday lights strung all across the room. The room was the same design, same colour as Hiccup’s, but the two seemed entirely different to him. Everything here seemed to radiate with _“better.”_

“Can I get you something to drink, uh—” 

“Hiccup.” 

“What?” 

“That’s, uh, my name.” 

“Oh,” the boy said, with a frown that evidenced disbelief, but then a shrug of the shoulders. “My name is Jack.” 

“Hi, Jack.” 

Hiccup stood awkwardly in front of the door to the bedroom, until Jack realized that Hiccup hadn’t moved, and then patted his bed, indicating for Hiccup to sit. Jack pulled up a chair in front of the bed and sat down in that, so that the two boys were facing each other.

“So, uh, Hiccup. What’s happened?” 

“My name actually _is_ Hiccup.” 

“Alright, alright, I believe you,” Jack said with a resigned shrug of his shoulders. “But you didn’t answer my question.” 

_Oh God this is stupid, what have I gotten myself into?_ “Are you sure I’m not keeping you up? You look like you’re ready to go to bed.” 

“You look like you’re trying to dodge the question. So, tell me. Tell me as much or as little as you want. I promise I won’t share your secret with anyone else, and if you want, you can avoid me after this so that it’ll be our unacknowledged secret.” 

This was enough for Hiccup; he had barely even met Jack, but already he knew that he didn’t want to _not_ see him ever again. And before he had time to worry about not being able to find the right words, they were spilling out of his mouth, entire breathless tales and stories he wasn’t even aware he still remembered. And the entire time, Jack sat there listening, commenting very briefly every so often.

“And so then when you chased Anthony down, he told you that you were disgusting to him?” Jack asked.

Hiccup paused for a moment. “Yeah. He, uh, well…” Hiccup wasn’t sure where he had been meaning to go, but what he had said seemed like enough for Jack to understand the idea.

“Hiccup, wow,” Jack finally said. “What happened was awful.” Hiccup wasn’t sure what to say to that, and so merely shrugged. “But it wasn’t your fault.” 

Hiccup kept staring at the floor—a posture he had developed as he finished up the end of the story, and nodded his head.

Jack was suddenly standing in front of Hiccup, and grabbed Hiccup by the chin, pulling his gaze up so they made eye contact.

“No, Hiccup. It wasn’t your fault.” 

And staring into Jack’s eyes, and hearing that, was more than Hiccup could stand, and Hiccup broke down sobbing as he felt a small piece of something that felt broken inside him, healing. He felt Jack wrap his arms around him as he continued to sob, and he cried into Jack’s shoulder until the tears wouldn’t come anymore.

Hiccup was suddenly overcome with exhaustion, and was all too willing to acquiesce when Jack pulled him up and led him to his own bedroom. Hiccup fumbled with the security lock but opened it on the first try, and Jack stood in the doorway as Hiccup entered. The brunette turned around and looked at the white-haired boy, trying to find the words to say, but entirely unable to figure out what to say, because Hiccup wasn’t sure what he was feeling anymore.

Instead, Jack walked forward and hugged Hiccup tight.

“Thank you, Hiccup. Now, please get some sleep.” 

“Jack— I— Good night. Thank you.” 

The next morning, Hiccup awoke, his bed neither destroyed nor his eyelids aching.

* * *

Rapunzel and Merida noticed the change even before Hiccup sat down at the breakfast table.

“Hiccup! What happened? You look—” Rapunzel managed to get out before a not-so-subtle under-the-table kick from Merida followed by a sideways glance silenced her.

Hiccup smiled and chuckled softly. “No Merida, it’s fine. I do feel happy. I, I met someone last night, and we talked,” Hiccup said, feeling slightly embarrassed now.

“A boy?” Rapunzel asked, perhaps a little more interested in the answer to that than was healthy.

“Yeah,” Hiccup replied sheepishly. “He lives on my floor, and his name is Jack.” 

The remainder of breakfast was filled with Rapunzel asking every possible question of an increasingly bashful Hiccup.

* * *

It was Friday night, and Hiccup was returning to his room after classes to unload his backpack. The girls—mainly Rapunzel—intended to make the best of Hiccup’s renewed happiness, and were going to see a movie, since “attending a frat party” still looked like a lofty goal from Merida’s protective perspective.

As Hiccup got off the elevator and walked to his room, his heart skipped a beat when he noticed the door to room 705 was open. Unsure what to say, Hiccup waited nervously before passing in front of the door. After finally building up enough courage, he decided to walk to the door, only to be greeted with an empty room.

“Hey,” came Jack’s voice from behind Hiccup, causing the brunette to jump and spin around.

“Jack!” he cried out. Jack moved past Hiccup into his bedroom. How the boy managed to move so silently was beginning to really perplex Hiccup.

Jack grinned lopsidedly. “Hey Hiccup. How are you?” 

“I’m, uh, I’m feeling pretty good right now.” 

“I’m glad, Hiccup,” Jack said, but with a bit more detachment than Hiccup was expecting.

“So, uh, are you doing anything tonight?” 

“Me? Nah. I might watch a movie, or go to sleep early. This week has actually been rather exhausting.” At that, Hiccup ducked his head, feeling bad that he had kept Jack awake so late the night before. “How about you, Hic?” 

“Oh, well, I’m going to the movies with my two friends,” Hiccup responded. Then, feeling almost like he had to justify it, “We didn’t feel quite up for a party tonight.” 

“I hope you have fun, then.” Jack replied, sitting down in his chair and smiling at Hiccup.

With that, Hiccup felt like that was his cue to leave, and so left feeling somewhat dejected. He dropped his backpack off in his room, but then made a show of trying to find something that he wasn’t sure what he was looking for, because he felt like he was struggling inside with something he wasn’t sure he was conscious of. But as he closed the door to his room, Hiccup realized what it was that was bothering him, and made an exceptionally slow walk towards the elevator, trying to make up his mind and steel the courage. But when he was outside Jack’s room and saw Jack sitting in his chair staring at his laptop screen, the decision felt like it had never really been in question.

“Hey, Jack. Would you like to come with us? It’s a, um, well, it’s the newest Disney movie—the girls are really excited to see it—and it’s, it doesn’t look too bad.” 

Jack looked up from his laptop screen while Hiccup was speaking, and didn’t bother to contain his smile.

“I’d love to! Let me get my shoes on!” he said before scampering around his room, tidying things up while simultaneously putting on his shoes and jacket.

* * *

Roughly fourteen minutes later, Hiccup and Jack rounded the corner of the student union to see Rapunzel and Merida standing outside the front. Or rather, Merida was standing; Rapunzel was sitting on a bench a little behind Merida, but talking loud enough for the redheaded girl to hear.

“…And it wasn’t like I really wanted to go, but I mean, hey, he was— Hiccup!” she cried out as she jumped up and ran the distance between them, embracing the scrawny brunette. “Oh, and who is this?” she asked, pulling away from Hiccup and turning towards Jack, even though she figured she had a pretty good guess.

“Rapunzel, Merida,” Hiccup began, as Merida joined the small group. “This is Jack. Jack, Rapunzel; Merida. It didn’t look like he had anything he was doing tonight, so I invited him to come along with us.” 

Rapunzel looked at Jack warmly, then did her best to look him up and down discretely. Merida, for her part, smiled and greeted him. Suddenly very aware of nerves he hadn’t realized he had, Hiccup piped up somewhat quickly.

“So, when is the bus going to be here?” 

* * *

The bus ride to the movie theater was very talkative and lighthearted, a complete change of pace for Hiccup after so long retracted into himself. Jack seemed to get along wonderfully with Rapunzel, and once Merida warmed up to Jack (perhaps realizing he wasn’t a threat, however she might categorize ‘threat’) she was also smiling and chatty with Jack.

Hiccup felt glad, on the one hand; Jack was here, and he looked to be having fun. It wasn’t awkward for him the way that Hiccup had feared it might be, and the girls weren’t rejecting him. Though with Jack’s personality, it didn’t look like that would ever be a rational fear to have.

But on the other hand, Hiccup felt a little jealous. He hated thinking that way, but Jack was, well, it was selfish, but he was _Hiccup’s_ friend. In theory, he wanted to share Jack with his two best friends, and he wanted Jack to be happy. And he really did. But in practice, it seemed more frightening to Hiccup. With Jack this friendly towards everybody, why would he want to be Hiccup’s friend? Why would he want to be friends with a broken boy?

Merida noticed that Hiccup’s smiles were becoming more and more forced as the bus ride progressed. She wanted to say something, and she had a vague notion of what might be going on, but there wasn’t anything she could really say without drawing attention to Hiccup, which was the opposite of what she wanted to do. But then she noticed, with surprise, that Jack had noticed as well.

“Right, Hiccup?” the frosty-haired boy smiled, turning to Hiccup. Hiccup had been so lost in his thoughts and fears, he had only heard the words of the conversation, not actually listened.

“W-huh?” he stammered out, doing his best to smile in as least forced a way as possible.

“Our RA. He’s a cool guy, but I’m pretty sure I could smell weed coming from his room Wednesday night.” 

“Oh, uh, really?” Hiccup managed to say. His mind was still clouded with his thoughts, but he decided then. He closed his eyes, took a breath, opened them and looked at Jack smiling at him. _Jack,_ he thought. And suddenly, he felt more calm than he had before, more jovial. “I really wouldn’t have expected that from him. He seemed so…” 

“Were you going to say ‘normal’, Hic?” Rapunzel chimed in. “Like people who smoke can’t be normal?” 

“No, I mean, he just. Well, I guess he didn’t seem like the type to me,” Hiccup rebutted, caught off-guard by Rapunzel’s accusation.

The conversation kept going, and soon Hiccup managed to dig himself out of the hole he had been cornered in.

As they got off the bus, Hiccup and Rapunzel filed out, followed by Merida and finally, Jack. Once Hiccup had gotten off, Merida turned quickly to face Jack and conveyed all of her emotions—relief, thankfulness, gratitude—in as sincere and telling a smile as she could to Jack. Jack returned with a warm, calm smile and a nod of the head.

* * *

“That. Movie. Was. AMAZING! Oh my God, wow!” Hiccup burst through the doors of the theater, smiling and giddy on the edge of laughter. He felt moved by the movie, ready to take up a brand new life. College was boring compared to adventure and excitement and impromptu musical numbers. Rapunzel was holding Hiccup’s hand and they were bouncing up and down; no doubt the same spirit that took Hiccup was fully in control of Rapunzel’s emotions as well.

Jack was right behind them, laughing, though more at Hiccup’s performance than anything else.

Merida was silent, standing by Jack’s side. He looked down at the redheaded girl, who before his eyes began to vibrate faster and faster until suddenly, she seemed to leap out of her skin and bound towards the frolicking pair, dancing up and down the fastest that Jack had ever seen somebody move and she began to recollect every moment of the movie with Rapunzel, and squeal.

Hiccup was caught up in the moment and was lost to the world and the happiness all around him.

* * *

And so Jack became a regular part of the group. None of the four shared lectures together (though it turned out that both Merida and Jack were taking the same math course), but they would spend meals together, and at night would occasionally meet up to work on homework or study, both actions which turned into the least productive comedy sessions. When actual work needed to be done, Jack could usually be found in his room, working on his homework (though he would claim that it was reluctantly), and Hiccup would occasionally get the courage enough to join him and work on Jack’s bed.

Jack joined the other three for volunteering as well. As a group, they doled out soup at shelters and uprooted weeds throughout the community, and for the first time since joining the organization, Hiccup felt truly happy enough to enjoy the work he was doing, the lighthearted atmosphere of the club.

Merida looked happier, too. Hiccup was still in the middle of his own depression, and wasn’t able to notice it, but both Jack and Rapunzel saw Merida become happier alongside Hiccup: bounding, joyful, snarky, crafty. A weight felt lifted from Merida, and she was free again to relax, to not _need_ to worry about her best friend the same way.

But in the dark, before Hiccup would fall asleep, some nights there would be the thoughts that would return, that he didn’t share with anybody else. Moments of self-doubt. More often than not, these days Hiccup would fall asleep with Jack on his mind.

The shift had been subtle enough that Hiccup hadn’t noticed it himself, just merely the change when he looked back to where he had started from. ¬ _‘Why would he want me as a friend when he could find somebody better?’_ had become _‘Why would he want to date me, when he could do better?’_

_He’s so handsome, and perfect, and funny and great, and I’m so scrawny and I have a weird nose and I’ve got these_ problems _._

And Anthony’s words would echo through Hiccup’s mind. It had been over a year now, and Hiccup had long ago forgotten what Anthony’s voice sounded like saying what Hiccup remembered him saying, and so it became Hiccup’s own voice that he could hear: “Everything about you disgusts me” and “Don’t ever tell me you love me again.” 

But those were the bad nights. On most nights, Hiccup would softly moan Jack’s name like a chant before falling asleep.

* * *

“What I really want to do? Party.” 

Those last words were Jack’s, and it was Friday night, nearing on finals week. The four had gathered for dinner, and the conversation was what the rest of the night should bring. The past few weeks had been movies and, once, a board game (which Jack thoroughly dominated). So tonight, Merida had pointed her fork at Jack and asked him what _he_ wanted to do for a change.

Merida looked at Jack with equal parts surprise and trepidation, but Rapunzel—constantly a ball of effervescent energy—was doe-eyed and all smiles at Jack’s suggestion. But when no one seemed to speak up immediately, Jack’s smile faded slightly.

Upon hearing the suggestion, Hiccup’s stomach had sank and the food had gone sour in his mouth. Unbidden, the negativity Hiccup had come to associate with partying— _cheating; dancing with someone else; pain; suffering; awkwardness; loneliness_ —sprang to Hiccup’s mind. Hiccup wanted to reverse the clock and change the events so that the suggestion had never been thrown out.

But as Jack looked up at Hiccup, Hiccup realized that whatever he said would be the group’s response. That the decision was solely on Hiccup to accept or reject.

“Yeah. Sure. Let’s do it,” Hiccup said after a moment, with a smile that felt a little forced, but Jack’s shoulders relaxing coaxed a real smile from Hiccup’s mouth.

And so two hours later, Hiccup was in his room trying to figure out what was appropriate to wear to a party. It had been such a long time—over a year, in truth—since he had attended a party— _a_ real _party_ —that he only had the basics to go off of: beer, drunk people, dancing, warm. And so he searched around his meager closet, trying to find something that was acceptable to wear to a party and get dirty in, but which was also still attractive enough to be seen as “better” than what he would normally wear. Ultimately settling for a flimsy, silkish green shirt with a hood and narrow blue-black jeans, Hiccup assembled his outfit before walking down the hall towards 705.

Hiccup was nervous, yes. But rationally, he didn’t feel he had any need to be; this was just a party, it wasn’t anything—nothing was going to happen. It was just a party. Hiccup knocked on the door to Jack’s dorm room. A muffled “Just a sec” prefaced the door opening by, well, a second, and Hiccup forgot all about his anxiety.

Jack opened the door shirtless. Over the past few months, Hiccup had become more and more aware of Jack and his body, and primarily, the effect his body had on Hiccup. He tried his best not to stare, but it was fascinating to watch Jack move without a shirt. The lean boy’s chest was pale like the rest of his body, and completely lacking any freckles like the own that smattered every reachable part of Hiccup’s own body. Jack’s muscles were toned, something which infuriated Hiccup almost as much as it aroused him, because Jack never seemed to exercise or go to the gym. He just _happened_ to have the toned chest of a runner. Having opened the door, Jack went back to dressing himself, and Hiccup made the best effort he could to not check out his friend’s butt. He failed, but he _had_ tried.

Jack pulled a skinny black shirt on, followed by his favourite light blue hoodie over his head, and he turned his grin to Hiccup.

“You ready for tonight?” 

“Huh—? Oh, yeah. It’s been a while, since I’ve gone to a party.” 

Jack had been tying his shoes, but stood up and walked closer to Hiccup. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? I’ll be fine with not going, if you’re not comfortable _with_ going.” 

Hiccup thought for a moment, before realizing that he _was_ nervous, but he was ready to go.

“No, I’m sure. Let’s… go do this,” Hiccup responded, with his best take-on-the-world grin that he had adopted from Jack over the past few months.

* * *

The party they had chosen was packed. Which was to be expected from what might be the last serviceable party week of the semester. There were people all throughout the rooms, and the stench of beer and weed was a pungent mix of aromas that Hiccup had no immunity against. Once again foreign to this environment, Hiccup found himself being pushed around a lot more freely than he noticed Jack was.

Jack seemed to be in his home environment. He didn’t know any of the people at the party other than Hiccup, Rapunzel, and Merida, but soon enough he was smiling and laughing in line for the keg. Hiccup could tell that Jack lived for the excitement and enjoyment that this was bringing him, and he felt bad then how the past few months must have been lonely for Jack.

Already the party was shaping up to be every bit as bad as Hiccup had expected it to be. Jack was off talking with random strangers, no doubt having as much fun with people he didn’t know as he did with Hiccup. Merida looked a little out of place, and Rapunzel was on her toes, scanning the crowd like a lighthouse. The clawing feeling in his chest that now only came very late at night when Hiccup was alone returned, and he began trying to figure out reasonable excuses he could make to escape the party.

When he looked back up, he noticed that Rapunzel was up against a wall, with a tall, brown-haired man leaning over her, clearly trying to get to know her a lot better. He had the look of someone who could talk his way out of nearly every situation he found himself in, though Hiccup expected that Rapunzel was going to be a challenge he hadn’t prepared for. Judging by the glint in Rapunzel’s eye and her cockeyed grin, Rapunzel intended to dance with the tall boy, but not without making him work for it first.

Hiccup glanced over to Merida, and the short red-haired girl flashed Hiccup a winning smile and a thumbs up. Not wanting to worry her, Hiccup forced a trained smile and gave her a thumbs up as well, before realizing that she was actually listening to the music, and she promptly burst out into dance, surprising both Hiccup and the partygoers around her. She was lost to the music and laughing and clearly having a wonderful time, and Hiccup tasted bittersweet happiness as he watched those around her begin to emulate her, and how she reveled in the position.

Hiccup was being pressed against on at least two different sides, but he felt more alone than he had in a very long time. His shoulders slumped and he looked at the floor, ostensibly making a show out of waiting, but really because he didn’t want to look up at the people around him.

Then, he felt arms embrace him from behind and a sweatshirt press up against him. A red cup was in front of his face, brimming with foam. From too close behind him, he could hear Jack.

“Hey Hic. Drink this.” 

A flood of emotions coursed over Hiccup, with Jack literally flush against his back and arms wrapped around his shoulders. He could feel the blood rushing both to his pants and to his cheeks and ears, and he made an effort not to moan, even if the din of the music would have drowned it out.

Grabbing the cup, Hiccup lifted it up and took a drink of it, the foam lying to him and causing some of the beer to slip past his mouth and run down his face onto his shirt. Having taken the cup, Jack laughed and clapped Hiccup on the back before pulling away and moving in front of Hiccup.

Jack was all smiles and crinkles around his eyes as he lifted his own cup to his mouth and drank, and Hiccup forgot about all of the people around him. Right now, there was just the white-haired boy in front of him, happy and smiling and loveable and _there_ for Hiccup and Hiccup had to catch himself because his first thought was to nuzzle into the boy’s neck.

Jack smiled and looked past Hiccup’s shoulder. Following his gaze, Hiccup saw Rapunzel was now dancing with the tall boy, who Hiccup had to say was far from ugly. From the looks of it, both dance partners were firmly of the belief that they were the leading party, and the passive fight for dominance was as strange as it was beautiful.

Hiccup turned back around to Jack to see that the boy was closer to him than he had been before. The party was becoming even more crowded as more people arrived. Jack began dancing to the music, seeming to be able to channel the rhythm throughout his body in a way that Hiccup wasn’t sure he could ever do.

Sure that his face was on fire, Hiccup began to try moving to the music. Tentative steps at first, but becoming more grandiose as the time went on and the beer went down. By the time Hiccup’s cup was empty, Hiccup felt a little giddy—not quite tipsy, but enough that it took the edge off his mind.

Hiccup felt a tap on his shoulder, turning around to see Rapunzel standing there with the boy behind her. She had to lean in close to Hiccup’s ear to be heard over the music, and even then Hiccup could only make out most of what she was saying.

“…cup, this …’gene. We’re gonna leave… don’t worry about me!” she said, flashing her eyes quickly to fill in the gaps for Hiccup, and to show him that she wasn’t anywhere near as impaired as he might think she was.

Jack grinned as Rapunzel led the boy to the front of the house and left. He turned to Hiccup again and gave a knowing grin and a wag of the eyebrows, and Hiccup seriously hoped that she wouldn’t regret this in the morning.

Merida was still dancing, somehow almost unfazed by the amount of physical exertion she had been putting forth for the past hour. Sweat caused her hair to mat to her forehead, but she was still dancing in a display of perfect human endurance, and her smile was huge. Hiccup chucked just looking at her, and she caught his eye and waved back before sinking to the floor with the beat of the song.

Hiccup felt an arm around his shoulder and Jack leaned in to his left, yelling into his ear above the commotion of the party. “Hey Hic, are you ready to go?” 

Hiccup looked back, somewhat surprised, but Jack was smiling and happy and, truth told, Hiccup was ready to leave the party before he tested the limits of his happiness too thoroughly. He nodded and smiled and Jack yelled back, “Great! Let’s just tell Merida and we’ll be off!” 

So the two moved towards the dancing redhead, who pulled herself up and moved close to the boys. The aroma of beer mixed with sweat as she leaned in and Jack relayed their departure to her. She took one look at the both of them and smiled wide and waved, signifying she understood. As Jack and Hiccup turned to leave, Merida grabbed Jack’s wrist and pulled him down quickly, cupping her hand around Jack’s ear as she told something to him. When she had finished, he just stood up and looked at her, smiling and nodding his head. This seemed to be enough for Merida, and she smiled and nodded again, before watching the boys depart.

* * *

Stepping outside was a relief. The cool December air felt wonderful on their sweat-soaked skin after so long in the steamy house. A light snow had begun to fall while they had been in the party, and before they had even made it to the sidewalk, the snow began to accumulate on their shoulders and hair.

“Haha, that was so much fun!” Jack cried out, whooping just for good measure.

Hiccup was overcome with the happiness he felt and smiled wide and laughed.

* * *

The elevator ride up to the seventh floor was accompanied partway by a drunk couple, and by a discarded pizza box with at least two upturned slices resting on the floor. When the couple got off and the doors closed, Jack laughed and Hiccup joined in, Jack’s laughter infectious. The doors opened up to the seventh floor and they both walked out, and a sudden wave of sobriety knocked over Hiccup. The night was over, it was time for bed, and the joviality was done.

“Hey Hic, how are you feeling?” Jack asked as they neared Jack’s room.

“Pretty good. I had a really great time tonight. How about yourself?” 

“Mostly sober at this point,” he said, and Hiccup felt a moment of stupidity at misreading Jack’s question.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sober as well. We didn’t have much anyways,” he said with a shrug and a scratch of the back of his head.

“Do you want to come on in?” Jack asked, surprisingly tentatively, and Hiccup blinked twice before replying.

“Sure.” 

Jack slid his ID through the security lock, punched in his PIN, and opened the door to the wonderful starry sky of lights in the small dorm room. Jack shuffled into the room, shoving a few things off of his bed and straightening the blankets. Hiccup just stood there in the doorway, staring at the boy in front of him and the lights, and pretty sure this is what heaven would look like, were he religious.

Jack looked up and smiled. “You coming in, huh?” 

Hiccup smiled and entered the room, turning around to close the door and take his shoes off. “So, what do you want to do? We’ve been meaning to watch—” Hiccup trailed off as he turned to see Jack in front of him, close. It had been months now and he still couldn’t hear the boy move.

Hiccup’s face flushed and his heart began to hammer and his lips parted a little. “J-jack?” 

Jack stared back at Hiccup, and cocked his head a bit to the right. Silence filled the air as the two looked at each other.

Then, Jack moved forward, crashing into Hiccup, cupping his hand behind the brunette’s head to keep him from bumping it when Jack pushed him against the door. Their lips touched and Hiccup felt a strong surge of emotions that he couldn’t name. He didn’t know he had closed his eyes until he realized he couldn’t see anything, and he could almost feel Jack pulling away from the kiss when Hiccup took an active role in his life and kissed Jack back. Hiccup wrapped his arms around the other boy and pulled him tight against his own body, angling his own head so that their lips met perfectly, and began to move his lips. He dug his grip into Jack’s hoodie, pulling the embrace tight, and he felt the hand behind his head lower as Jack did the same, the two trying to pull each other so tight that they might never separate.

Hiccup could feel himself rub against Jack through their pants, and the feeling was intense, but the knowledge of what was happening was almost more than Hiccup could comprehend. He broke for air, breathing heavily, and Jack took the opening to go directly for Hiccup’s neck, licking just behind his jaw line. Hiccup moaned and arced his back, rubbing his now hard groin against Jack. This only encouraged Jack more, who now drew swirls with his tongue on Hiccup’s neck, punctuating them sporadically with nips by his teeth. Hiccup didn’t think he could do any more than moan and writhe and grab Jack even tighter than he had been.

He felt Jack’s hands slide from the small of his back to Hiccup’s ass, grabbing him through his pants, sliding his hands into his back pockets. This woke Hiccup up to the realization that he was able to touch Jack, and suddenly Hiccup’s hands sprung to life, roaming Jack’s body, trying to touch everything at once because he couldn’t decide what he wanted to touch first. Stroking Jack’s sides caused the white-haired boy to shudder against Hiccup, releasing a cool breath against the saliva on Hiccup’s neck that caused Hiccup’s cock to twitch. But grabbing Jack’s butt let Hiccup grind Jack against himself, and this proved too much for the other boy’s control. Jack threw his head back and moaned, and _that_ sound coming from _Jack_ was the most arousing thing that Hiccup had ever heard.

Hiccup all but forced Jack to walk backwards, turning him brusquely and throwing him on the bed. Jack landed with a plop, still with just enough facilities to protect his head from hitting anything painful. Hiccup kneeled in front of Jack, level with his crotch, and Hiccup could see the boy’s erection through his pants. Without any reservations, Hiccup undid the button and unzipped Jack’s pants, shucking them to his knees. Jack’s dick pressed up against his boxers, and Hiccup was fascinated by the sight and the reality of what was happening, and was taken with a desire to worship every part of Jack’s body. He wasn’t going to miss any chances. Rubbing his face against Jack’s clothed erection, Hiccup ran his hands up Jack’s legs, causing the boy on the bed to whimper.

” _Hic_ cup, uhh,” was all Jack could form, but a second later he let out a loud gasp as Hiccup freed his erection and took it immediately into his mouth. To Hiccup, Jack tasted strong, felt amazing against his tongue, and as he bobbed his head up and down along Jack’s shaft, the sounds that left Jack’s mouth drove Hiccup wild with lust. After a minute of teasing, Hiccup took all of Jack into his mouth and began to hum as he twisted his head, and he thought Jack would rip the hair from his scalp, which only proceeded to make Hiccup’s own pants feel even tighter.

There was only so much that Hiccup could take before he needed to touch himself. Releasing Jack from his mouth, Hiccup stood up on shaky and weak legs from the awkward position he had been kneeling in, and as he looked down, Hiccup moaned at how ravished Jack looked. His blush was deeply noticeable against his white skin, and his legs spread apart but tied together at the knees by his pants and boxers proudly showcased Jack’s erection. Jack was breathing hard, and only now opening his eyes; his eyes were unfocused, but they spoke nothing but want and desire and had a depth to them that drew every part of Hiccup crashing down against Jack’s body, kissing at his neck as dominantly as Jack had him earlier. Jack moaned into the ministrations on his neck, and Hiccup awkwardly wrapped his arms around Jack’s body as he shuffled them body lengthways onto the bed, Hiccup pinning Jack under his weight.

“Hicc—cup, please, ahh,” Jack moaned, followed by more broken fragments of his name, and one hand grabbed Hiccup’s back while the other fumbled as best it could with Hiccup’s pants. Grinning, Hiccup pulled himself up, undoing his pants and pulling them off his feet, tossing them along with his shirt god knows where across the dorm room, before crashing back against Jack, who had only managed to shed his hoodie. With only Hiccup’s boxers separating Jack’s and Hiccup’s members, the two boys began to rub an erratic pace against each other as Hiccup left bruises on Jack’s neck.

Jack’s right hand found its way to Hiccup’s waist, and it traced along the band of his boxers before slipping inside to grip Hiccup tightly. Hiccup’s breath hitched, letting out a gasp, as he felt Jack’s hand close around his dick, and then he was rocking into Jack’s fist. Hiccup was focused on the overwhelming pleasure of the moment, and Jack took the opportunity to seal his lips against Hiccup’s, forcing his tongue into his mouth. Hiccup moaned against the warmth of Jack’s tongue as he touched with his own, and soon the two were locked with each other in a sloppy, dirty struggle.

Hiccup moved his own hand down to where he was rocking his dick into Jack’s fist (the thought alone lewd enough to send a shudder of pleasure down Hiccup’s spine) and wrapped his hand around Jack’s member, which was sticky from the dried saliva but leaking precome against Jack’s stomach. Gripping Jack, Hiccup began to stroke in rhythm with Hiccup’s pumping, and the sensation was enough to overpower Jack and allow Hiccup to claim Jack’s mouth, pushing their tongues back.

Sweat shone off of the two boys, and as Hiccup pumped both his arm and his pelvis, the mess of limbs began to get in the way of Hiccup’s movements. Pinning Jack’s right shoulder down with Hiccup’s left, Hiccup released Jack’s right hand from around his dick and pulled it above Jack’s head, grabbing Jack’s wrist and holding it against the bed. Now supporting his body with his legs and pressing against Jack’s chest, Hiccup opened his right hand and grabbed both Jack’s and his own dick, closing around the two, before beginning to pump his hips again.

The sensation elicited moans from both boys as they rubbed against each other. Jack struggled noncommittally against Hiccup’s control, unsure how to express his pleasure other than to simply let Hiccup continue. Jack could feel the heat pooling at his waist, and Hiccup’s staggered breath evidenced the same.

“Hic—Hicc—up, I’m, I’m close,” Jack managed to get out, which only drove Hiccup’s lust to further heights. He immediately released their dicks, Jack’s which plopped back against his stomach with a hiss from the boy. Hiccup was so close to coming, but he shuffled down and took Jack into his mouth once again, doing his best to create as little contact with Jack’s dick as possible.

Jack moaned in excruciating pleasure, but quickly, Hiccup released Jack’s now-wet dick from his mouth and returned to his previous position atop Jack. Looking at the white-haired boy’s flushed face, Hiccup angled down to kiss him roughly as Hiccup wrapped his hand around both of their dicks as began to pump again.

The saliva mixed with the friction undid Jack, who screamed into Hiccup’s mouth loudly as he came, shooting cum all across their chests and his own shirt and hitting under Hiccup’s chin. One thrust later, and Hiccup was shuddering and painting Jack’s chest with his own seed and crying loud enough for the whole building to hear, and then the exhaustion of his muscles set in and he collapsed on top of Jack, completely unable to move.

The two laid there, chest to chest, panting heavily, sweat and cum covering every part of their bodies, and their hair a tangled mess between the two. Panting heavily, neither of them were physically capable of saying anything for minutes.

“That,” panted Jack, finally breaking the silence. “That was, the most, intense, fuck I have ever, had.” 

Hiccup managed to let out a laugh between breaths, and rolled to Jack’s side to allow him to breathe unrestrictedly. Arms shaky, Jack pulled his shirt off over his head, using it to wipe the cum off of his body. Supporting himself on limbs that visibly shook with fatigue, Jack leaned down and licked at the cum splattered across Hiccup’s chest. Hiccup laughed at the ticklish sensation, and when Jack was finished cleaning him up, he grabbed Jack’s shirt to wipe the cum from under his chin.

However, Hiccup knew that cleaning up was his cue to leave, that the intimacy was over. Not wanting to have to make Jack say it—and truthfully, exhausted and ready to fall asleep—Hiccup climbed over Jack and stood uncertainly on his feet before searching for where he had thrown his pants and shirt.

“Where do you think you’re going, Haddock?” came Jack from the bed, and Hiccup turned around, confusion written all over his face.

“Huh?” 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jack repeated. “Unless you’re going to the bathroom—which probably isn’t a bad idea—you’re staying here tonight,” Jack said lazily from where he was lying.

Hiccup stood there in the center of the room, dumbfounded and filled with a warmth and light that seemed to radiate throughout his body. Jack patted the bed next to him, and after a moment of wariness, Hiccup moved over to the bed and laid down. He tentatively pulled the blankets back over his legs, signifying he was getting into the bed, but then realized that he was still radiating warmth and drenched in sweat, so pushed the covers back off.

Hiccup laid there in bed, next to Jack, unsure what to do at this point. Sex, he knew about, but this part after?

Luckily, Jack filled in the missing gaps as he leaned over and kissed Hiccup on the lips. Slowly, and without purpose, and Hiccup took a moment to respond, and a little longer to realize this kiss wasn’t to fulfill a goal, but just an expression of devotion.

Jack finally broke for air, unable to breathe normally still, and snuggled up against Hiccup, despite the warmth that they were both giving off. Jack pulled a flimsy bed sheet over them, which began to cool them off rapidly, and Jack draped his arm over Hiccup’s tiny waist.

The two remained like this for what must have been twenty minutes, and after a while, Hiccup realized this wasn’t some trick, and nuzzled into Jack’s hair. Finally, Jack clambered out of bed and pulled on pajama pants, offering some to Hiccup.

“Here. I’m going to the restroom. You coming?” 

* * *

As Jack climbed back into the bed, Hiccup stood by his side. He wasn’t going to make Jack invite him into his bed a second time, because he didn’t want to press his luck that perhaps he wouldn’t, but it still felt weird. After a moment’s hesitation, Hiccup joined Jack in the bed, and the white-haired boy rearranged his blankets to cover the both of them.

Hiccup felt Jack’s arms wrap around him and pull him close, and could feel his chest muscles press against his side. Curiosity mixed with a feeling of warmth that Hiccup couldn’t name, and he turned to face Jack, who’s eyes slowly opened to meet Hiccup’s gaze.

Jack moved his arms around Hiccup’s back and pulled him tight, into a deep embrace. Jack sighed a contented sigh, and rested his nose against Hiccup’s cheek.

“Hiccup, I knew from the moment I saw you resting your head on that door, that I wanted to see you smile. I didn’t know then why you couldn’t, and I didn’t know how I would make you smile. But I knew that I was going to find out how, and I was going to do it.” 

A lump caught in Hiccup’s throat, and his eyes watered.

“And I have never been more happy, more pleased with how things have gone, how fate turned out, than I am right now, with you, with this.

“And I’m not going to stop until you’re never afraid to smile again. Because I don’t care if you believe me right now or not, but you are worth so much more than what you have been treated. And if you let me, I will make sure to show you that. Every day.” 

A tear fell from Hiccup’s eye, tracing down the line of his face and landing on Jack’s pillow.

“And I’m not afraid. Because your smile it worth it. Because you’re worth it.” 

Hiccup’s chin quivered as more tears threatened to fall.

“Jack, I—,” he began. But Jack’s lips cut him off, pressing against his, firmly. Conveying emotions and expressions that neither boy would be able to put into words for many months thereafter, and Jack sealing a promise away deep inside of Hiccup, that he was going to be here in the morning, and the morning after that, and after that.

And as the two boys slept that night with the twinkling holiday lights dimly glowing above their heads, the broken, shattered pieces of Hiccup’s soul began to mend, no longer confined to the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> ["The Broken Pieces" - How Fanfiction Gave Me the Strength to Go Forward](http://ahhhlec.tumblr.com/post/100487078391/the-broken-pieces-x)


End file.
